Week 12 / Critical Reflection on Learning in the Course (Post 4)

In my first blogpost I mentioned two challenges I faced when it comes to communicating with others. Firstly, I have identified myself to be an “Action-oriented” listener; a type of listener that seeks a clear message and have less patience for listening to the reasons behind the task and would sometimes jump into conclusions. Secondly, would be resolving conflict. Previously, I was not familiar with the Thomas-Kilmann Model but after studying it in the lesson, I am able to identify myself to be a “competing” type formerly; someone who tries to satisfy their own desires at the expense of the other parties involved. Thus, I have set myself two objectives to achieve at the end of this module. Firstly, being a better listener and not make the other party feel that I do not care about their well-being. Secondly, resolving conflict, finding a tone which allow me to raise my concerns and issue calmly and effectively without sounding like a demand.

My first objective is to become a better listener. I had previously identified myself to be an “Action-oriented” listener and it was mentioned in class that, by no means there is a right or wrong style of listening. It is through understanding of the 4 different styles (People- Oriented, Action- Oriented, Content- Oriented, Time- Oriented) that we adapt and use accordingly for different situations and for most of the times, picking up the good traits of individual styles. I personally feel that I had only achieved half of what I had set for myself to achieve. while I understood the different styles, which has made me more aware of my own behavior as a listener, I still was not able to fully apply what I had learnt. For instant, during a group sharing process, I would sometimes interrupt thinking it was appropriate and complete the other person thoughts. And as I reflect on my behavior later in the day, I felt that I might have made the other party felt that his or her idea was not taken into consideration. That said, there is still a distance I must go to meet the objectives I have set for myself. And to do so, I would continue to be more aware of my own actions when listening to others and take this chance as a student to work on it before embarking working life.

My second objective was to find my tone to resolve conflict and not making it sound like a demand. While I am unable to gauge where I truly am when it comes to meeting this objective, in my opinion I have improved a tad. After learning and understanding more on Thomas-Kilmann Model, I was able to comprehend the delicate balance between the 5 strategies (Avoiding, Accommodating, Compromising, Competing and Collaborating). Formerly I felt that I was too “competing” and since then, I have tried to be more “collaborating” and “compromising” in my approach when in a project team. This has helped in bettering the team’s dynamic and relationship with my group members as compared to my groups in the last semester. I felt that although the results of the project might have gone slower than what I had in mind, the result was something that everyone in the group is proud of.

Overall, despite not having met my objectives, I felt that I have grown as a communicator, like the saying goes “knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom”. And the knowledge that was imparted to me during the lessons had got me thinking about the ways I had previously communicated with others. And I want to improve my way communication and build better relations with others.